Perceived message


Message received often times is different from message intended.

Wrong timing. Different context and stress level. Words that inadvertently trigger negative emotions.

We live and learn.

It’s not easy to get across, at both cognitive and emotive levels.

Male are known for missing emotional signals more often than female.

That’s why long distance relationships are hard. We can’t rely on non-verbal cues.

Perfect communication doesn’t exist.

Only when two frames of reference converge in a perfect eclipse.

It’s as rare as the Moon and the Sun passing.

Yet we try. We rely on objects to speak for us, on gifts and on symbolism.

These days, people use chat, text and video calls. Yet Hallmarks cards are still thriving.

Twitter is for bursting self-promotion.

Facebook for social, more than two.

LinkedIn for professional networking.

That leaves the ubiquitous SMS and chat (which requires simultaneous typing).

I know that fax and voice mail are on the way out.

Just like pagers and answering machines.

We move on. We change the way we communicate. With emoticons and acronyms..

Languages that once belonged in OPs domain now drifted into our daily conversation.

Machine-like language for a dehumanized world.

Please get to the point ASAP.

OK. I promise to get it done by COB.

Can you hear me saying? All I intend to say is ….

Please don’t get it all wrong. I meant well. Oh, that’s not enough?

Sorry, I completely disregard your circumstances. Are your under stress? I see.

Let me start over again. Since you are this and that….. I just want to say this ….and that. Now we acknowledge the other ‘s level of communication, we begin to factor in empathy. I often feel the same way. People read me wrong most of the time etc…But I found that ….

One of the best conversation on race took place in a(imaginary) trench, between a Princeton Lieutenant (white) and a career sergeant (black) in Matterhorn. Since they both were going to die, the Lieutenant asks the Sergeant to teach him the “hand dance”. After a few times, he still did not feel right. The retort ” that is because you are not Black”.

Even when you meant well, still it’s not enough. Perceived message.

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